You, Me, and the Dog: Stories From the Mobile Mojo Dojo Casa House: July 2024

The path to Hideaways

The flight from Oahu to Kauai on Hawaiian Airlines was short and sweet with a cup of juice and bright sunshine for the 35 minute duration. The airport in Lihue is about the size of the one in Palm Springs and uses a similar “open air” style. We took a shuttle to our rental car and had to laugh, the “off-site lot” is closer than the garages at Dullas.

Having spent a week trying to drive and park on Oahu, I was glad we rented a small car and I was looking forward to driving a Mazda 3. Hertz generously greeted us with a complimentary upgrade - aloha - and my subtle compact turned out to be a bright red Dodge Charger. Mahalo.

We started with coffee and a sandwich at Java Kai in Kapa’a based on local recommendations then went touring. Wailua Falls was at the top of our list and it was super close to where we were staying. Great intro to the island. Us old folks didn’t climb down but considered going back to do so every single day we were on the island. The mountain road dead-ending at the Falls was a twisty journey up through crowding trees and towering tropical grasses with farms, fields, pastureland, and sudden views up to the jagged mountain. The falls themselves were spectacular - iconic even – but there wasn’t enough parking, crowded with people for the available space, and littered with litter. Lesson number 4 about Hawaii – if you don’t have to pay to get in, it’s been soiled.

We went south to Koloa and Puipu filling our afternoon with an amazing gluten free menu at Friendly Waves, Dole-Whip at a Mango-Something ice cream shop, and oohing and ahhing my cousin’s favorite Kauai beach. We were also advised, during lunch via the government alert system, to leave immediately because of a fast moving wild-fire. Good thing we had the Dodge.

We rented an oceanfront AirBnB “condo.” The grounds were beautifully landscaped with palms, ferns, bananas, taro, kolo, hibiscus, and chickens. It was just an old hotel room rebranded, but perfect for us with a sliding door that opened to the beach.

We drove the island, miraculously finding midday parking for everything except the Queen’s Bath. I mean miraculously – we’d pull up and suddenly there was a spot, or someone who needed to pull out leaving us a spot, and the three cars behind us would mask their jealous envy with a friendly shaka. We found Hideaways Beach, Tunnels, pull-offs, Hanalie (great food trucks), glass beach at Eleele, and even our first stop at Wailua (though we didn’t appreciate it at the time).

We saw sea turtles, came across a pair of monk seals sleeping on Poipu, watched a ray swim by from the loungers in front of our room. We even saw chickens.

We hiked the Canyon Trail at Waimea Canyon (the Grand Canyon of the Pacific) State Park – wow. It’s part of why helicopter tours are a must on Kauai, why all the Jurassic Park movies were filmed on Kauai, it’s the big emptiness that makes Kauai feel so much less crowded than Oahu.

We did not take a helicopter tour – one crashed with no survivors the day we arrived on the island. The odds of two in the same week might be low, but it is written, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test…”

And we were busy. It’s a small island but the average speed between 2 points is always 25 mph. Lesson number 5 about Hawaii – If you are in a hurry, you’re missing the point.

With red dirt on our shoes and suitcases packed with souvenirs, we wrapped up our week with a dinner at Friendly Waves (the cool gluten free place) and another warning to “leave at once or be burned alive.” We shopped the “Kauai Chicken” store, drank Kona coffee, and drove 25 mph to the airport. The flight back to Oahu was short and sweet, the drive back to Andrew and Katie’s house familiar and uneventful. Daisy (their dog) was ecstatic we came back and had a terrible case of the zoomies.

We hiked and beached Oahu style for our last few days, climbing to the pillboxes at Lanikai, jumping out of the water at Bellows because somebody thought they saw a shark, walking the path at Patriot’s Park on base, and crashing the public side of the lagoon by a pair of resorts including the one where they filmed “The Wrong Missy” and Disney Hawaii. We may, or may not, have wandered around the Disney one that was more crowded than a cruise ship where a single can of coke costs nearly $5 at its marketplace. Or not.

We flew back on a red-eye to Dallas, the flight attendant cheerfully announcing it was the captain’s “last flight before retirement” and seemingly oblivious to the importance of not sharing that kind of information. I mean, how many movies have you seen where somebody says, “This was my last mission. I was going home, man!”

We made it. And the hop to Richmond. And so did our checked luggage. I think if I go back I will leave from the West Coast. Yes, that will only be 5 hours or so, much better. And that is Lesson number 6 about Hawaii – it makes you think about next time, even before you’re back home.

I have a friend who lives on Guam. He keeps telling me to come visit. Says things like, “It’s only another 7 hours past Hawaii.” Maybe, but then I think about Lesson number 1 about Guam – You think Hawaii’s a long plane ride…